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As we step into the New Year, it’s natural to start thinking about resolutions and fresh starts. This January, our focus turns to resolving conflict — not just any way, but God’s way. Today’s reflection serves as both a conclusion to the Christmas season and a foundation for the weeks ahead.

If, by the end of this blog, you feel compelled to reach out or reconcile with someone, act on that prompting. If it’s straightforward, do it now. If it’s complex or long-standing, wait. In the coming weeks, we’ll explore how to navigate even the toughest conflicts with grace and wisdom.

Christmas: A Season That Highlights Relationships

Christmas has a way of amplifying our relational dynamics. It’s a time filled with joy, but also reminders of estrangement, loss, and strained connections. Many of us juggle holiday logistics — deciding who sits where and who can be in the same room.

I’ve experienced this firsthand when my grandparents divorced. Suddenly, Christmas wasn’t just about traditions and togetherness — it became a logistical puzzle. Maybe you’ve dealt with something similar. For all the beauty of the season, it often shines a light on the very relationships that need healing.

Christmas: A Mirror for Our Humanity

Because of this highly relational aspect, the Christmas season often reminds us of the problems we can’t solve, people we can’t control, and expectations we can’t meet. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, and frustrating. But bear in mind that for someone else, you might be the problem they can’t solve, the person they can’t control, and the expectation they can’t meet. If we step back to take an honest look, we will see that we all have more in common than we’d like to admit. Thought we handle them differently, we all have the same needs, desire, and fears.

But Christmas does more than raise complicated and uncomfortable issues. If taken seriously, the Nativity — the moment God became flesh — has the power to move us beyond our complicated and uncomfortable relational dynamics.

The Reason for the Season

The Gospel reminds us that we are the reason for the season. Yes, we celebrate Jesus’ birth with joy and gratitude, but why did He come? Because of our brokenness. If humanity weren’t such a mess, the Incarnation wouldn’t have been necessary.

This truth is both sobering and liberating. Jesus’ birth removes every excuse we might use to justify relational distance. If God Himself came to dwell with us — despite the awkwardness, complications, and discomfort — how can we justify staying distant from others?

Immanuel: God With Us, In Spite of Us

The message of Christmas, Immanuel — “God with us” — is not a mere theological concept. It’s a transformative reality. John, one of Jesus’ closest followers, captures this beautifully:

“The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. … And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:9, 14, ESV).

John’s testimony isn’t abstract; it’s rooted in his lived experience. He walked with Jesus, ate with Him, and witnessed His glory up close. Despite the disciples’ relational messiness and lack of theological understanding, Jesus stayed with them. He didn’t run off when things got difficult. Trying to express what life with Jesus was like, John writes that Jesus was “full of grace and truth.” And it wasn’t a balance. It was 100% both. He never compromised the truth and he never dialed back the grace.

Jesus Removes Our Excuses

Jesus’ life is a model for us. He had endless patience for sinners. And when we get up on our high-horse, we need to be reminded of the only people Jesus had harsh words for: the self-righteous and judgmental. Why? Because self-righteousness hurts those around us who need love and blinds us to our need for grace. Recognizing our shared humanity — our needs, desires, and fears — leaves no room for pride or excuses.

Whatever barriers we’ve erected to keep others at a distance, Christmas demolishes them. The moment we see others as “other,” we’ve lost sight of Jesus. As John writes, “God is love” (1 John 4:8, ESV). This love is not philosophical; it’s practical, rooted in the life and actions of Jesus. It is love that infects us so powerfully that we reflect it into the world.

Love as a Response to Love

John’s Gospel and letters overflow with the theme of love — a love we are called to emulate. He writes, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11, ESV). This love isn’t based on the worthiness of the other person. It’s a reflection of God’s love for us, demonstrated in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

When we love others — even when it’s awkward, complicated, or uncomfortable —we mirror the love of Christ. The harder it is, the more Christlike our actions become. As John might say, the more messy the situation, the more it resembles what Jesus faced when He came to dwell among us.

The Nativity: A Call to Action

For a follower of Christ, the Christmas story becomes a model for our lives. Paul writes:

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Philippians 2:5–7, ESV).

Jesus emptied Himself for us. He stepped into our mess, not because it was easy or convenient, but because of love. As His followers, we’re called to do the same. When we encounter relational tension, we’re invited to follow His example — to step into the awkward, complicated, and uncomfortable, motivated by love.

Closing Thoughts

Christmas, if we take it seriously, leaves us without excuses. It reminds us that problems, people, and unmet expectations are not reasons to withdraw. Instead, they’re opportunities to grow in love, humility, and Christlikeness.

You are the reason Jesus came. He left heaven for you — awkward, complicated, uncomfortable you. And He calls you to do for others what He has done for you.

It won’t be perfect. But through the strength and courage that comes from Christ, we can move toward into relationships that are broken with a desire to heal. May the message of the Nativity inspire you to take that step today, and in the weeks to come, as we explore how to resolve conflict God’s way.

Much grace and peace to you!